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Excerpt from Prologue II: Confessions
Clink, clink, clink, the sound of silverware made as I shared an intimate and sophisticated dinner with my mother Bethany. After the graduation ceremony was over, she decided to treat me to dinner at Avli on the Park on 180 N. Field Boulevard in Chicago. It was my favorite place to eat on special occasions. Since there was only my mother and me, I didn’t have a family to invite to my graduation festivities. That’s why we came to the restaurant alone. When I was a little boy, she told me she had a brother, but they weren’t on speaking terms for whatever reason. Although I always had her by my side, I often felt alone without a family. It would have been nice to have cousins or siblings to play and fight with, but I guess I wasn’t good enough for that. Once the waitress came back to the table, I ordered the lamb chops with oregano, lemon, extra virgin olive oil, broccolini, potatoes, and Filo shrimp, and I got a Sprite to go with it. My mother ordered the Greek salad with extra feta cheese, salmon, and red vinegar, with balsamic vinaigrette. For her drink, she ordered a glass of white wine. I was surprised because she barely drunk her whole life. What she had to tell me must have been eating at her if she needed liquid courage. Ever since we got here, the two of us said little to each other. This was supposed to be an exciting day in my life, but I had a feeling, things were about to go south. She was procrastinating telling me the news she had for me, and I was getting restless. It was on my mind since it slipped past her, light brown hearty lips. Now, she was using food and alcohol to avoid talking to me.
When I was done with my food, I put my fork down, wiped my mouth, sat back in my seat, and anchored my attention on her. She kept her eyes on her food and pretended she didn’t see me looking at her. “Hey, Ma! Didn’t you say you had something to tell me,” I inquired as I focused on her body language. She slowly met my gaze, sat up straight, and wiped her mouth with the cloth napkin.
“Um, yeah. I did say that,” she responded as she eyed the table like she was full of regret.
“What is it?”
“Well… I wanted to wait until we got home to get into it, but since you brought it up… I guess I can say it now,” she replied. She sucked in cool air and breathed out warm air a few times as she looked everywhere but in my eyes. I could tell this was huge because she only acted like this when she was nervous about something.
“Do you remember when you were a little boy, and you used to beg me for a little brother? I’d always tell you I couldn’t give you a little brother or sister. I used to say… you were the only son I wanted and needed,” she reminded me. I drew my brows in because I didn’t know where she was going with this. Did I have a brother she didn’t tell me about or something?
“Y-Yeah. I guess,” I responded and waited for her to continue.
“Well, the reason I couldn’t give you the brother you always wanted was because… I was in a bad car accident when I was seventeen. I suffered trauma in my pelvic area that made me infertile. So, I’m not able to have children,” she elaborated as she fidgeted with the silverware on her plate. I scrunched up my face as I processed what she said. From my understanding, she had me at twenty-one years of age, but how could that be if she were seventeen when she found out she couldn’t have kids?
“Marcus… you’re adopted,” she confessed in a low tone.
“What,” I questioned as I leaned toward the table.
“When I was twenty-one, my brother showed up at my house randomly and asked me to raise you as my own. He was dating your biological mother, who was sixteen at the time and she got pregnant with you. However, since she was underage, he was afraid he’d get arrested for statutory rape. Plus, he was living a life he didn’t want to bring a kid into. I didn’t agree with his lifestyle, but I wanted a baby so bad, I accepted his offer with no questions asked. I immediately fell in love with you, Marcus. You were everything I was missing in my life. I was lonely after my husband divorced me when he found out I couldn’t have his children. You brought so much joy to my life,” she explained to me. I sank my teeth in my bottom lip as I sorted out this huge bomb my mother just dropped on me. I couldn’t believe she kept this from me for eighteen years.
“Why are you telling me this now,” I questioned, making her align her sad eyes with mine. I could tell she was holding back tears, but I didn’t care.
“You deserve to know the truth now that you’re old enough.”
“Who is she? Who is my mother?”
My mother eyed the table to avoid eye contact with me. “She… doesn’t want you to know who she is. That was the only thing she asked of me, so I have to respect her wishes,” she finally admitted. I shook my head. I had a mother that lied to me my whole life and one that didn’t want me to know her. What did I do to deserve this?
“And my father?”
“Your father is… dead,” she responded. My eyes sloped down as I tried to hold back tears. I couldn’t deal with all of this at one time. Not only did I not know my father, but he died before I had the chance to know him. Everything I fantasized about my father seemed stupid after hearing the truth.
“Then, who was that guy you were arguing with at my graduation? Was that not my father,” I inquired as I zoned in on her eyes to make sure she didn’t lie to me.
“That was nobody. It was a random guy who came to the graduation. We got into an argument because he said something inappropriate to me, and it set me off. You know how I can get when someone disrespects me,” she lied before letting out an awkward laugh. My eyes pierced her with anger and resentment.
“You’re lying. Why are you lying to me,” I cried. I couldn’t believe this news she sprung on me on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my teenage life.
“Marcus, I promise I-”
“Don’t fuckin’ lie to me,” I shouted at her, causing everyone in the restaurant to flicker strange looks at us. I didn’t care though. I was angry at her for lying to me all my life and having the audacity to do it again. I didn’t know for sure, but something told me my father was alive, and he was the guy I saw her arguing with at my graduation. However, for whatever reason, she was hiding him from me.
“Marcus, I’m sorry, but I’m not lying,” she reiterated. I abruptly slid my chair back, stood up, and stormed out of the restaurant, leaving her at the table by herself. I was so fucking angry I could punch a hole in the wall. Instead, I breathed deeply as I made my way to the only place, I found solace in when I was going through it.
It was almost eleven when I finally arrived at Columbus Park. I was glad to see I was the only one there. I snuck through a gap in the fence and made my way toward the baseball field. When I got there, I went inside the dugout and sat on the bench. I sighed deeply as I stared out into the field. I couldn’t believe I was adopted. I figured my mother and father had a difficult relationship, so they parted ways, leaving my mother to raise me on her own. Learning she was my aunt threw me for a loop. I would have never guessed I wasn’t her son. I looked like her, but I guess that was to be expected since my father and her were siblings. I shook my head as I replayed the conversation, I had with her in my head. If I didn’t feel lonely enough before, I was damn sure lonely now.
“For a minute, I thought you stood me up,” I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. I swiftly looked back and was blinded by a bright smile. I forgot I was supposed to meet Nathan here. He reached through a hole in the fence that separated us and tugged on my starter locs. Then, he made his way inside the dugout with me.
“What’s up? Why you look like somebody stole your school lunch on chicken day,” he questioned as he stared into my eyes. I abruptly lowered my head and ground my teeth as I tried to hide my tears. I didn’t want him to see me cry because I didn’t want him to think I was soft. To my surprise, Nathan embraced me in his arms and cupped the back of my head while he held me close. My tears came flooding from my eyes like a well ran over.
“I don’t know what happened but I’m sorry it did,” he apologized as he massaged my back. After about three minutes, I pulled away from him and breathed deeply to calm myself down.
“I’m so sor-”
“Hey! You ain’t gotta apologize to me. I care about you, so it’s cool,” he admitted. I could see the sincerity beaming from his bright eyes. I was always amazed at how kind he was when we were alone together.
“You care about me?”
“Why you actin’ shocked? You know how I feel about you,” he retorted as he cupped my cheek and leaned in to kiss me. His plump lips sank into my thick pouty ones. His lips were always so soft and smooth, it felt like I was kissing silk. Nathan sucked on my bottom lip briefly before I dipped my tongue in his mouth. He sucked on my tongue and bit it gently. My dick was hard as steel after that. As if he knew, Nathan caressed my erection through my pants as we explored each other’s mouths. He was such a good kisser. He could make me cum off kissing alone.
“Mmm,” I moaned as he bit my tongue again. He smiled in my mouth as he undid my pants. I caressed his chest and made my way to his dick, but he grabbed my hand to stop me.
“Un unh. I got you this time,” he told me, surprising the fuck out of me. Usually, our tutor sessions consisted of me giving him fellatio as he jacked me off. That was the most he would do with me, so I was excited to be experiencing more. I guess he wanted to go in for our last time studying together...
TO BE CONTINUED...